God always has a reason.

Like a wall.

You’re nearly three times my age,
But you cry everyday.
You sleep non stop,
Then you’re up for days.
The things it has you say,
You don’t make sense,
You don’t even scare me anymore,
You hurt me.
Are you as numb as I?
Every single night, I pray.
I help you a little, here,
I hurt a little more, there.
It’s like I’m staring at a blank wall, waiting for that wall to just get legs and walk away.
But that will never happen, it’s a wall.
And that’s why you are,
A wall.
You will never change,
You’re made one way,
that way you will stay.

life.

It’s so amazing how much everything changes over the years, over the days even. I’ve been so miserable the past couple years and I shouldn’t be, despite everything i’ve ever had to deal with, I have a wonderful life! It was selfish of me to be upset for so long, god blessed me with way more than I need- even though it may be less than other people, it’s also more than other people and I should have been more than grateful, but I wasn’t. I can honestly say something in me is beginning to change. I’m understanding life more and more everyday, you really are never going to be happy until you are fully happy with who you are and no ones opinion about you matters except for your own. God has a plan and a reason for everything that happens, we may not see that reason now, but we will eventually. Everything takes time and God does not help those who do not help themselves, remember that! Love someone and let someone love you, for being only you and for everything you are and have to offer. Let that person help you become a better you, love is changing into a better you because they inspire you to do so, not because they tell you to change, no one should ever make you change if you don’t want to or in a negative way. Do you understand what i’m saying? I don’t know everything, I’m not always right, but I do believe Love changes people for the better and I think Love is in the air.

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

my favorite inanimate object is my bed, who doesn’t love sleep?

Meth over me.

Please stop the yelling, please stop fighting. It’s funny you do this without even deciding. You have no control, you don’t even care. The way it has taken your mind, it isn’t fair. I never Had a choice, I never had a say. But is not like I would have gotten my way. You were my mommy, but there was no love and you pushed me away. You never held me and told me that it would be okay. You were my daddy but it makes you treat me like shit. You’re still hitting the pipe and it makes me sick. Mommy is missing and daddys gone crazy. You’re suppose to choose me, I am your baby. Please don’t cry, and please don’t shake, This is what happens when you can’t get your crank. You’ve ruined your life and you’ve messed up mine, And no thanks to you, I’ll maybe be fine.

—written by me April 6, 2010

Close your eyes. What do you hear?
I hear the water, I hear the birds.
Do you hear the grasshopper that is at your feet?
Old man, how is it that you hear these things?
Young man, how is it that you do not?

we don’t read & write poetry because it’s cute. we read & write poetry because we are members of the human race & the human race is filled with passion & medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits & necessary to sustain life. but poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.